Mizuno Ami’s Journal

Mama-san wants me to transfer schools.

I’m at a loss.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.

Yet I can’t give a satisfactory explanation for why not, or why I’ve missed cram school, or what I was doing that the policeman found us.

What am I going to do?

Edit: On the one hand maybe she would send me to Rei-chan’s school. It is a private school…

Mama-san texted me and says she wants to meet me. This can’t be good. She’s at work for two days straight because of something, I don’t know what, and yet she wants to meet with me now, rather than waiting until she’s got through all her shifts and had rest. I’m so nervous.

I think it probably has to do with what happened last night…which was that when I got to the spot where the latest youma had appeared, Rei-chan had already vanquished it and returned to civilian, and as I was congratulating her on this a policeman showed up.
This, of course, is not good, especially as we couldn’t say, ‘Oh, it’s okay officer, you see we’re senshi and we were saving a lot of people from being turned into batteries…’ I hadn’t even had to become Mercury, and Rei had just turned back. Of all the times to wish it actually hadn’t been over so quickly, and I had to participate in the battle…although if that was the case the officer might have been hurt.
We tried to explain, but really, what can you say? We took a short cut home from school this way at almost midnight?
He asked us for our information, and I was hoping that with Mama being at the hospital perhaps they wouldn’t have been able to get hold of her, or would have just left a message at home that I could erase, but perhaps they did both.
I try to tell myself that I’m doing my normal think about this too much; that really nothing is going to happen. She perhaps just wants to see me, given we’ve spent so little time together lately, but I’m afraid that will not be so. Maybe she’s just found out that I’ve not gone to cram school as much as usual, with well, being evil, and being so busy, and that’s just it, and the police haven’t talked to her at all. Although that might be worse, because my doing well means so much to her.

Either way you look at it I’ve let her down.

Well, wish me luck. I’ll go to see her right after classes are done.

In what could be considered mixed news, by which I mean both good and bad, Usagi and Mamoru are together, that is, in a relationship. Luna is extremely unhappy about this, but we sided with her, with Usagi-chan I mean.
I’d like to believe that our destiny is not written entirely by things that have happened in a previous existence we can’t even fully remember. Surely, if Usagi and Mamoru are aware of what happened before they can make sure it doesn’t happen again. So many other circumstances are different for them, surely that can make a difference?

Usagi-chan had some bad news this afternoon. She, Rei-chan and I came into CROWN and overheard Motoki-onii-san on the phone trying to get in touch with Chiba-san in London, and failing miserably. Then he explained he was worried because Chiba-san seemed to have just disappeared!
Usagi-chan was desolate, and was all ready to walk to London. We pointed out to her how she shouldn’t try to go, and all the things that Luna has been telling us about the world being doomed, and she -did- seem to calm down, eventually, but it must be so hard for her. I wish there was something we could do.

Part of my is ready to get her a plane ticket to go, but I’m so afraid…I want my friend to be happy, but to doom the world to destruction?? How do we sort this out??

Jupiter has awakened. She is amazing. The raw power that she can command…it’s breath-taking but also very scary.

After we left CROWN last night we ran into Motoki-onii-san he told us that Mako-chan had turned him down. We were trying to track down where she was at to find out if she was okay when she called us and said there were youma attacking her.

We were making her way to the lake to help her when we were stopped by youma of “our own”, they were strange, melting up from the pavement, unusual for youma. Rei said they felt weaker than youma we’d fought before, but youma they still were, so we transformed to fight them.

The appearing and reappearing was confusing us and keeping us off guard until Venus appeared to help us, and we were able to defeat them to go and help Mako-chan.

When we found her she was holding her hands together in front of her standing beneath a tree. The sky turned from day to night as thunder clouds rumbled overhead and lightning flashed and struck her, but she absorbed it. She didn’t seem to hear us when we called out to her.

“The power of Jupiter is awakening,” Venus told us.

When she finally opened her eyes she snatched more lightning from the sky, thunder clapped around us. Jupiter called a power we hadn’t heard before, and destroyed the youma that remained nearby with a brilliant burst of crackling green energy as it dissipated the daylight returned.

Mako-chan turned to us, “It’s because I’ve always been alone,” she said, and then she looked at Venus and said, “I…understand. It was necessary for it to be like that forme to end up alone, listening to the wind. All of it has been decided for us since our past lives, that’s why I’m okay alone.”

Both Moon and I tried to protest given she’s such a good friend but she told us that it didn’t mean she wouldn’t be friends with us any more, that it was hard for her to put it into words but that it all came from the past lives we shared.

There were almost blows earlier. Mako-chan had been given tickets to see Kame Fighter with Motoki-onii-san. She said it was just a thank you for making him some food seeing as he hurt his arm moving into his new place and couldn’t cook.

When Usagi-chan got to Crown she was very insistent that this was a date, and Luna insisted it could be counted as more of awakening attempt; because it would help Mako-chan to deal with another weakness that she has.

She almost declined to go after the way everyone was talking about it, but she did. We’re almost packing things in here at Crown for the night. I wish there was some way I could help Mako-chan with this, but I realize that such things should be done for yourself and by yourself otherwise what’s the point? They’re not going to really help.

I had a nightmare last night. It was very vivid, and scared me. I woke up feeling as though I couldn’t breathe.
I was firmly convinced for a few moments, that I was still in the Dark Kingdom, and I hadn’t been cured. That being cured was some kind of strange dream. I almost called Usagi-chan to make sure I wasn’t being crazy, but I hit my head trying to find the phone and didn’t wake up to find myself in caves, or fighting or something, so I figure I’m okay.
Plus I’ve now gone through an entire day and not woken up.

I felt so scared though…and I…I wished that Mama was home so I could go to her. I don’t know if I should be so…annoyed with her–but I’ve barely seen her since she came back from Europe, and she doesn’t seem to have noticed that anything had happened to me at all. How I could tell her–I don’t know, but you’d think she would have noticed that her daughter was evil…

People still aren’t talking to Usagi.
Although from what she was saying today things might be looking up when we get back to school next week.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

We waited for Usagi to meet us at a coffee shop this evening, but she didn’t show. On the upside Rei and I got to talk to Makoto a bit, and ease her feelings, I hope, about things that have and haven’t been going on.
It seems there had been a mix-up, Usagi was working with Kuroki-san to produce a concert for Aino Minako (!) but we got the message she would meet us. Makoto feels, and I think she may be right, this is Kuroki-san sabotage. Rei agreed once she got over being very, very ticked at the waste of time.

It must hurt Usagi-chan to have the others ostracize her so much, I don’t think she’s ever really experienced it before, and I wouldn’t have wished that feeling on anyone, let alone someone I consider such a good friend. She tries to put on a brave face…when the people like M and K blatantly ignore her, and they used to eat lunch with her every day! I can’t understand it.

We (Naru, Makoto, Usagi and myself) arranged to meet on the roof to eat lunch, but neither Makoto nor Naru made it.

I wonder if Makoto is taking her lack of awakening hard…I thought to call her, but I have no idea what to say, and I fear interrupting something important. I probably should have just called…I’m such an idiot at times. After the way things were going at CROWN I wasn’t sure if I should, and that’s wrong of me. Even if Mako-chan told me she didn’t want to talk at least she would have known that I cared enough to call. I feel sorry for her today, Luna had her eating potato after potato, which is her least favorite food. She said that because we have no idea why Mako-chan hasn’t awakened to that second level of power we should try to help her overcome all of her weaknesses. I know Luna is our guardian and should know what’s going on more, but that just doesn’t feel like it’s a good way to do things. Who am I really to say, though?

Things are very strange, especially because of Kuroki Mio…
When we got to school after the battle the other day we found that the class was upset with Usagi, to put it mildly. We had believed perhaps Minako Venus had been wrong on her impressions of Kuroki-san being someone to watch, after she was kind to Usagi and seemed understanding, but then when Osaka-san and I got to class we found she was telling the class in such a way they believed Usagi had deliberately hurt Kuroki-san, it was awful!
I keep remembering how I could swear she kicked Usagi the other day while everyone was playing volleyball…then I think maybe I’m wrong, but there’s certain times where she just…there’s just…I can’t put it into words.
At least Osaka-san also believes Usagi’s character is genuine, without knowing the full extent of the situation, otherwise I don’t think Usagi could bear it.
The main other focus has been the fact that Mako-chan hasn’t awakened to her senshi powers yet. I’m not sure if there’s anything the rest of us can do to help her…I wish there was.