Been so busy I didn’t get much of a chance to see Tsukino-san today.
She was suggesting, again, that I sit and eat lunch with her and the other girls, but I would feel so uncomfortable, there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to be nice and polite because you know the things they’ve said about you…and even though I always manage to rein in such horrific impulses I don’t want to feel so two-faced.
We did talk briefly on the phone, but Mama-san was actually home, so I had to cut it short to eat dinner.
I should get back to studying.
I think Tsukino-san is wanting to go back over to the Hikawa Shrine soon and talk to Rei-san. It might be a long enough break that she won’t feel like she’s being hounded…
Just a quick note before I run off to cram school.
Haven’t really been able to talk to Tsukino-san today.
Keep wondering about what happened with Rei-san…and also about this Tuxedo Kamen person who was also at the site of the missing girls.
We had to re-open the portal, and he actually helped Tsukino-san get through the portal in time as something was trying to drag her back.
Could it be that the other senshi guardian we’re missing is male? Because I doubt he could be the princess…
There was a rumor going around school about girls disappearing from somewhere near a shrine called Hikawa. Lots of students were talking about a curse that a shrine maiden had put on the girls, and the area.
Tsukino-san got rather put off by the idea, and hid under the desk during lunch. She did invite me to sit with her, but I declined as well as I could. I think her friends thought she was insane for even talking to me.
But I explained to her after school that it must look more than a little odd to her friends for her to suddenly be all buddy-buddy with me, even though we don’t know each other, or at least aren’t supposed to know each other that well.
I find consolation in the fact that Tsukino-san is as confused by all of this as I am, and Luna doesn’t seem to be doing much better. Tsukino-san was saying she doesn’t think she’s ever going to get used to the whole thing, ever, and is especially disconsolate that she can’t keep track of the information that Luna is occasionally able to fill us in on.
I’m wondering if the missing girls could be something to do with a youma. It might have nothing to do with that at all, but it would be more useful to check and be wrong than to not check and have allowed something terrible to happen.
I’ve never felt this odd about being in school. It’s really…I feel as though there’s a hazy sheen over everything, and I’m going to wake up any moment to find that it’s still last Friday and I just fell asleep in class and am in such trouble.
There were newspaper articles about our cram school teacher falling down the stairs because of some kind of leak in the building which caused a lot of students to pass out as well. They say our teacher was going for help when she fell because of the fumes. I wonder if she will ever actually come back to school.
Tsukino-san and I spoke briefly; she’s still saying that I should join them to eat, but I point out to her that there’s no way to really explain why all of a sudden I would be talking to them. Her friends have been some of those in the past who have tried to get to know me just for answers to things, or because of Mama’s job. I’m afraid they would ostracize her instead if we were acting so friendly, so out of the blue.
There’s an amazing room, behind/inside Crown, that apparently no one else can see except us. Luna is also worried about ‘Sailor V’ and who or what she may be, whether she is working for us and just doesn’t realize we exist, or is working for the enemy, the ones who create the youma.
Tsukino-san is hoping that we can become good friends, but I fear her friends would be suspicious if I spontaneously started hanging out with them.
Of course, I may also be using that as an excuse because I’m afraid that I will wake up and this was all another very bizarre lucid dream.
Besides I don’t think her friends like me all that much, so I don’t want to invade and make them upset with her.
Ahh!!! I need to re-read that chapter for cram school, and make sure I have my homework before I set off.
We got the tests done, for now. In a few days the results will be posted.
My cram school teacher was asking me how well things went. I told her ‘okay’. I was prepared well, for which I thanked her, but there’s always the chance that you choke and don’t realize it.
Mama-san always tells me that the worse she found out she did, always when she thought she’d done great.
Things seem okay.
I’ll just have to wait for the results, and hope that people aren’t going to hover around me asking to be friends again. Last time that happened they really just thought I would do all their homework for them. I keep hoping but at times it seems futile, as if no one is going to see me as anything but a brain to be used and tossed aside either when they find someone else or…
I’m going to stop there. I think I have some thing I need to read over.
Everyone in school is talking about the upcoming test results.
At lunch time I went to my nice spot on the roof where I can eat and read over things and not get distracted so easily. I’ve caught myself staring off into space a few times which isn’t good.
I guess I’m envious of the groups of people.
I see them especially during lunch time, laughing and chattering, sharing each others lunches…but I can never go up to them, because I hear what they all think of me. I guess it’s my own fault really, but it seems like every time I trust to people to open up and be friendly they are just faking.
Spent most of the day revising.
I’m sure we’ll have a couple of ’suprise’ tests tomorrow, so I want to make sure I’m prepared.
Mama-san was still at work this morning, so she couldn’t help me revise.
I took some tests on the computer, and wrote a few essays.
Mama-san came home in the afternoon, and was very tired, so I made dinner for her, and let her rest. Grandpa had called so she called him back in the evening once she woke up.
Later we watched some television together and she was telling me that the car accident people on the news had been taken to her hospital but their prognosis looked good. She told me some of the symptoms to see if I could guess the best course of treatment I got four out of five.
Haruna-sensei pointed me out in class today, using me as an example of good behavior for another student who was late, because I’m always there a half hour early, at least.
I felt so bad.
I wish she wouldn’t do things like that. I just want to do well in class, and I find it easier to study when I am in the classroom and not at home in the apartment by myself.
Maybe if I sit outside she wouldn’t notice me. Although then she might get angry with me for not trying, because she didn’t see me working. This doesn’t help the other students in class to think that I’m not some perfect student from whom they can get the answers to everything with their homework and they won’t have to work at it themselves.
I decided to make this journal in an effort to practice my English.
I am not sure how well this will go.
I suppose we shall see.
