Mizuno Ami’s Journal

There have been some bad things going on lately, some a lot worse than others. I didn’t transfer schools, which is a good thing. I did some things perhaps I shouldn’t, but things have worked out.

I felt bad, being so worried about something as a school transfer, when Rei-chan had such deeper problems with her father. She and I spent some time together at CROWN, when neither of us wanted to go home, and we sorted out a lot of things. It was fun to spend time with her, I think it did both of us some good, as she points out we both tend to be pulled in, for different reasons. She couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just stand up to my mother in the first place and tell her ‘no’ this is something Rei has little problem with. She has such courage. I worry. I did not want to disappoint my mother, she expects for me to follow her footsteps, and I wish to please her, so I worry that she will hate me if I don’t live up to her expectations, such is the way things are.
Plus, I don’t want to lie to her, but I also don’t want to put her and my other friends in danger by explaining certain things.

As it stands now, she’s had another trip since then, and come back, and she understands that I like to spend time with my friends, and there are certain things I have to do, and that I’m still trying my best, and still doing okay, so it’s alright. Which is a big relief.

Other things have happened though, that make all the fracas over the school issues seem like nothing; and they involve Usagi-chan and Chiba-kun. As it is right now Usagi-chan has disappeared, for a while Luna had me pretending to be her, which worked out okay, suprisingly because Ikuko-mama-san had lost her contact lenses and couldn’t tell that it was me and not Usagi-chan. Right now Mako-chan is in my place and I have to look around for Usagi-chan and try and find out where she’s gone. Rei-chan has gone to see Aino-san for more information.

As to why–why has Usagi-chan disappeared? I have no actual idea. I have speculations only.
She and Chiba-kun were doing very well with their relationship, but then, Beryl…

Beryl appeared and she threatened the lives of the shittenou. She even stabbed Nephrite, or had him stab himself, because of this manipulation Chiba-kun agreed to go with her to preserve the lives of everyone else. He didn’t want Usagi-chan to continue to be controlled by the princess aspect of herself, her other self, self from the past…so, he brought her back to normal and went along with Beryl.
Speculation is that during the night after that the princess came to the forefront of Usagi’s personality again and is now dragging her somewhere around Tokyo, and the only clue we have is the sound of the harp…

Anyway, I should go. I just had to purge some of this out of my head so I could think more clearly and continue my pursuit.
Wish me luck.

Mama-san wants me to transfer schools.

I’m at a loss.
I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.

Yet I can’t give a satisfactory explanation for why not, or why I’ve missed cram school, or what I was doing that the policeman found us.

What am I going to do?

Edit: On the one hand maybe she would send me to Rei-chan’s school. It is a private school…

Mama-san texted me and says she wants to meet me. This can’t be good. She’s at work for two days straight because of something, I don’t know what, and yet she wants to meet with me now, rather than waiting until she’s got through all her shifts and had rest. I’m so nervous.

I think it probably has to do with what happened last night…which was that when I got to the spot where the latest youma had appeared, Rei-chan had already vanquished it and returned to civilian, and as I was congratulating her on this a policeman showed up.
This, of course, is not good, especially as we couldn’t say, ‘Oh, it’s okay officer, you see we’re senshi and we were saving a lot of people from being turned into batteries…’ I hadn’t even had to become Mercury, and Rei had just turned back. Of all the times to wish it actually hadn’t been over so quickly, and I had to participate in the battle…although if that was the case the officer might have been hurt.
We tried to explain, but really, what can you say? We took a short cut home from school this way at almost midnight?
He asked us for our information, and I was hoping that with Mama being at the hospital perhaps they wouldn’t have been able to get hold of her, or would have just left a message at home that I could erase, but perhaps they did both.
I try to tell myself that I’m doing my normal think about this too much; that really nothing is going to happen. She perhaps just wants to see me, given we’ve spent so little time together lately, but I’m afraid that will not be so. Maybe she’s just found out that I’ve not gone to cram school as much as usual, with well, being evil, and being so busy, and that’s just it, and the police haven’t talked to her at all. Although that might be worse, because my doing well means so much to her.

Either way you look at it I’ve let her down.

Well, wish me luck. I’ll go to see her right after classes are done.

Mama-san came home just now and was telling me that Aino Minako was at her hospital. I can imagine Usagi-chan is just frantic if she has heard the news. Apparently it was only a minor thing…she was almost hit by a vehicle that was out of control, but media some times has a habit of blowing things out of proportion, and I have a feeling in Usagi-chan’s mind it will escalate to something drastic. I would call her, but I don’t want to worry her if she doesn’t yet know, maybe by the next day Aino-san will be out of hospital. Although Mama-san was saying she might be grateful for a chance to rest in the relative peace and quiet of the room she has. I suppose so.

I was tempted to stay in bed for the better part of the day.

In fact I did sleep rather late for me, late enough that Mama-san came in to check on me and make sure that I wasn’t ill. She did say that my forehead felt a bit warm, and was concerned, but once I’d actually eaten something I felt quite a bit better.
Then in the afternoon I actually got a phone call. It was Tsukino-san. She and Luna met me at the Crown Center, which was closed, so we could go down to the park and talk some more about everything that had happened, and what the whole point is, or at least as much as I could manage to comprehend. I’d take double trigonometry or even calculus which we’ve just touched on in cram school over trying to understand the idea of senshi guardians.
Tsukino-san was a little apprehensive about the fact that I had a notebook and wrote it all down. It’s going to take some re-reading before I grasp it.
Mama-san was actually still home when I got back (we were only out a couple of hours), so we went down to a noodle shop and had a meal out, which was nice. She’s a little worried about Tsukino-san; that I’ll be out in the cold again in a few weeks…but I’m trying to be positive about it. I didn’t tell her about the senshi things, the first time I’ve ever not told her anything. I feel bad but I really don’t think she would understand. I have a hard enough time with it and I’m so afraid I would put her in danger.

Main points of the information:
There are at least two other senshi guardians. We have to find the Princess and protect the maboroshi no ginzuisho, so that the enemy does not inherit the power to destroy the world.
It’s pretty weighty stuff, Tsukino-san doesn’t quite seem to grasp everything, and Luna is very frustrated with her.
Luna doesn’t remember everything about what’s going on, and also may be frustrated about that.

We got the tests done, for now. In a few days the results will be posted.
My cram school teacher was asking me how well things went. I told her ‘okay’. I was prepared well, for which I thanked her, but there’s always the chance that you choke and don’t realize it.
Mama-san always tells me that the worse she found out she did, always when she thought she’d done great.
Things seem okay.
I’ll just have to wait for the results, and hope that people aren’t going to hover around me asking to be friends again. Last time that happened they really just thought I would do all their homework for them. I keep hoping but at times it seems futile, as if no one is going to see me as anything but a brain to be used and tossed aside either when they find someone else or…
I’m going to stop there. I think I have some thing I need to read over.

Spent most of the day revising.
I’m sure we’ll have a couple of ’suprise’ tests tomorrow, so I want to make sure I’m prepared.
Mama-san was still at work this morning, so she couldn’t help me revise.
I took some tests on the computer, and wrote a few essays.
Mama-san came home in the afternoon, and was very tired, so I made dinner for her, and let her rest. Grandpa had called so she called him back in the evening once she woke up.
Later we watched some television together and she was telling me that the car accident people on the news had been taken to her hospital but their prognosis looked good. She told me some of the symptoms to see if I could guess the best course of treatment I got four out of five.

Mama-san had some time off work this morning, and we went grocery shopping together at the center. We had a nice time to catch-up. She asked me all about how school and cram school are going, and even helped me revise for one of the tests for a little bit before she got called in to work, but she is hoping that she can get a day off and take me out to spend the money I still haven’t spent from my birthday. I can buy myself some new clothes.