Mizuno Ami’s Journal

There was a rumor going around school about girls disappearing from somewhere near a shrine called Hikawa. Lots of students were talking about a curse that a shrine maiden had put on the girls, and the area.

Tsukino-san got rather put off by the idea, and hid under the desk during lunch. She did invite me to sit with her, but I declined as well as I could. I think her friends thought she was insane for even talking to me.

But I explained to her after school that it must look more than a little odd to her friends for her to suddenly be all buddy-buddy with me, even though we don’t know each other, or at least aren’t supposed to know each other that well.

I find consolation in the fact that Tsukino-san is as confused by all of this as I am, and Luna doesn’t seem to be doing much better. Tsukino-san was saying she doesn’t think she’s ever going to get used to the whole thing, ever, and is especially disconsolate that she can’t keep track of the information that Luna is occasionally able to fill us in on.

I’m wondering if the missing girls could be something to do with a youma. It might have nothing to do with that at all, but it would be more useful to check and be wrong than to not check and have allowed something terrible to happen.

I’ve never felt this odd about being in school. It’s really…I feel as though there’s a hazy sheen over everything, and I’m going to wake up any moment to find that it’s still last Friday and I just fell asleep in class and am in such trouble.

There were newspaper articles about our cram school teacher falling down the stairs because of some kind of leak in the building which caused a lot of students to pass out as well. They say our teacher was going for help when she fell because of the fumes. I wonder if she will ever actually come back to school.

Tsukino-san and I spoke briefly; she’s still saying that I should join them to eat, but I point out to her that there’s no way to really explain why all of a sudden I would be talking to them. Her friends have been some of those in the past who have tried to get to know me just for answers to things, or because of Mama’s job. I’m afraid they would ostracize her instead if we were acting so friendly, so out of the blue.

There’s an amazing room, behind/inside Crown, that apparently no one else can see except us. Luna is also worried about ‘Sailor V’ and who or what she may be, whether she is working for us and just doesn’t realize we exist, or is working for the enemy, the ones who create the youma.
Tsukino-san is hoping that we can become good friends, but I fear her friends would be suspicious if I spontaneously started hanging out with them.
Of course, I may also be using that as an excuse because I’m afraid that I will wake up and this was all another very bizarre lucid dream.
Besides I don’t think her friends like me all that much, so I don’t want to invade and make them upset with her.
Ahh!!! I need to re-read that chapter for cram school, and make sure I have my homework before I set off.

I was tempted to stay in bed for the better part of the day.

In fact I did sleep rather late for me, late enough that Mama-san came in to check on me and make sure that I wasn’t ill. She did say that my forehead felt a bit warm, and was concerned, but once I’d actually eaten something I felt quite a bit better.
Then in the afternoon I actually got a phone call. It was Tsukino-san. She and Luna met me at the Crown Center, which was closed, so we could go down to the park and talk some more about everything that had happened, and what the whole point is, or at least as much as I could manage to comprehend. I’d take double trigonometry or even calculus which we’ve just touched on in cram school over trying to understand the idea of senshi guardians.
Tsukino-san was a little apprehensive about the fact that I had a notebook and wrote it all down. It’s going to take some re-reading before I grasp it.
Mama-san was actually still home when I got back (we were only out a couple of hours), so we went down to a noodle shop and had a meal out, which was nice. She’s a little worried about Tsukino-san; that I’ll be out in the cold again in a few weeks…but I’m trying to be positive about it. I didn’t tell her about the senshi things, the first time I’ve ever not told her anything. I feel bad but I really don’t think she would understand. I have a hard enough time with it and I’m so afraid I would put her in danger.

Main points of the information:
There are at least two other senshi guardians. We have to find the Princess and protect the maboroshi no ginzuisho, so that the enemy does not inherit the power to destroy the world.
It’s pretty weighty stuff, Tsukino-san doesn’t quite seem to grasp everything, and Luna is very frustrated with her.
Luna doesn’t remember everything about what’s going on, and also may be frustrated about that.

I’m really not sure of anything especially why I’m writing this down and what I’m thinking it will accomplish other than proving that I am completely insane. Maybe it’s the stress of schoolwork and the pressure I put on myself, but I’ve tested it several times and it happens, I can even take pictures of myself…and look at them, and know that I can’t be dreaming this whole thing.
My head hurts, but I can’t sleep, so I’m going to write all of this down and hope that it makes sense.Yesterday I was still a bit disappointed about what happened with Tsukino-san and wondering what made her think I would accept such a crazy story, for one, and how it was that people who wanted to befriend me only ever wanted to get something from me, and then I was at cram school, and as I normally do, listening to music while we’re studying. But then, everyone in the room around me passed out, and before I could jump up sensei was by my side and very angry with me for listening to music. She’s never really said anything before, but she felt…odd. I can’t describe it really because my heart was pounding that it seemed like I was going to get into trouble, and also that something very strange was going on.
Right before my eyes sensei turned into some kind of huge brown creature, and tried to attack me. So, I ran, I was going to go upstairs, but everyone on the stair case was also unconscious…so I went to go downstairs, but the creature lunged for me. Then it fell down the stairs, and I saw sensei’s body and its body side-by-side. I couldn’t believe it, first I was thinking sensei was a monster, and now…sensei was being used by a monster, that was going to come back after me and was blocking my way down the stairs. The only place I could run was the balcony around the side of the building, so I had to. I was hoping that I could make it to a fire escape or stairs, or a phone or something…someone who knew what was going on or could wake me up. Instead I trip over my feet, and someone in a strange fuku, not unlike Sailor V attacks the monster, which then throws both itself and me over the side of the balcony. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but was expecting to hit the ground and be in lots of pain but instead there was a jarring, and I looked up to find the girl in the fuku, with long blonde pigtails looking down at me very relieved and calling me, “Ami-chan,” not many people call me that, but my mind strayed right back to the last person who had, who’d been telling me all about the senshi business that very morning!
“Tsukino-san?” I asked, cautiously, half-thinking she would giggle and call me silly and wonder why on Earth I thought that. Perhaps it really was Sailor V and all the media and everything just had no idea what she actually looked like…
She nodded, chewing on her lip, and trying to wriggle enough of a hold to pull us up, but there wasn’t much hope for it. My heart was pounding, and my brain running through all of that which had happened so far that day. The things she’d told me that morning, and who she did actually seem to genuinely care about me, and that maybe this time it was okay to trust…besides, my trust was proven right when I voiced to her that I would accept the senshi mantle and she told me not to, not if I didn’t want to, I assured her I did, at which point the next bizarre thing happened which is her cat popped up and spoke to me, telling me to catch something. A glowing ball of light flew towards me as though thrown and when I put my hand up to catch it/stop it, it wrapped around my wrist and became a bracelet.
As my hand slipped from Tsukino-san’s a strange calm ran through me. It was as if a door in my mind opened and someone stepped forward to tell me what to do. Instinctively, I called out to the power of Mercury and felt energy washing through around me, in that instant I knew I was the senshi of Mercury attuned to water, and when I dared open my eyes again I was standing in a fountain, dressed in blue and white, a large bow on my chest, and my hair felt shorter. My glasses were gone, too…
Tsukino-san jumped down from the balcony to greet me, but first we had to dispose of the youma, given it had been reformed by another one, during the struggle to right ourselves. She was able to use a power called, “Twilight Flash,” calling on a controller from within her fuku. I called on the water of the fountain using, “Aqua Mist,” as the power phrase.
I couldn’t believe it, but there was an excited euphoria brought on by victory at that point which made everything giddy and great. We jumped up and down and she explained that she had wanted to be my friend before she found out I was a senshi, and I told her that I would like to be her friend too, because she seemed like a nice person and was trying to apologize for the way I had treated her about the senshi thing.

She laughed, we both laughed, and then I felt my knees wanting to buckle so she and Luna showed me how to put away the power and return to normal, so we could sit down.

It was very tricky to wrap my mind around after that point, everything seemed surreal, and I kept expecting any second for a giraffe to walk through the scene confirming it was a dream so that I could wake up and be back to normal. I would have even taken having fallen asleep in class over the realization of what all this meant for me.
Tsukino-san hugged me and walked me as far home as she could, given classes were being canceled and sensei was being taken to the hospital. She tried to get me to go home with her to have some tea and calm down, but I couldn’t bring myself to, so I walked the rest of the way home and took a shower and tried to wrap my brain around it.

Just before waking up from yet another dream where the day was replaying out of sequence I decided to test myself. I focused I called on the power and closed my eyes. I thought for sure when I opened them again I would be still my normal self, but I was wrong. I even took pictures of myself and went back to sleep expecting them to be gone but they’re not…I thought it was odd to see Tsukino-san with blonde hair (even though it was strangely right too…) but my hair, that I thought had just shortened…it had turned blue! I took me a moment to remember to allow myself to return to normal, I can just imagine what Mama-san would say if she came home and her daughter had short blue slightly curly hair!

Okay…maybe I was wrong maybe it’s not going to make any more sense…but there’s nothing else for it…ack-ack-ack!! How am I going to keep up with my studies and fight youma at the same time?

I should try and sleep some more, and hopefully with the weekend I can take some time and recover. Maybe it was a hysterical hallucination brought on by sensei trying to attack me? But that doesn’t explain the phone picture…hysterical hallucinations don’t usually photograph…

I’m going to bed. Hopefully I can sleep now I’ve got everything out of my head.

I need to sleep!
Maybe if I wake up this will all make sense!
More later…

I had hoped Tsukino-san was different. I feel so naive. Although this goes over the line for ways to pick on me other than just befriending me for school work help.
Right now I’m not sure if I was wrong or not. It seems like she only wanted to befriend me because of this ’senshi’ thing she was talking about, but that could just be some really big and very strange joke…I mean…transforming ‘poof’ into a soldier to fight…what was it, youma that was it.
I should have expected it, but she seemed so different to the others…and that is a more outlandish prank than the others have been…youma, senshi…
I’m not even going to think about it any more. Maybe she’s watched too much about ‘Sailor V’ on the news.

Today was a sort of break-through, but I don’t want to get too excited. I actually made conversation, sort of, considering I was so nervous, with a person who might be interested in talking to me for some reason other than the fact that I make good grades, or my mother is a doctor. Her name is Tsukino Usagi. She’s a bit goofy, and easily excitable, but she seems pretty sincere.She has this really cute black cat, called Luna, who has a crescent moon on her forehead. She’s the reason that we met. I found Luna on the way to cram school: she was separated from Tsukino-san, and as I was setting her right Tsukino-san approached, she said I was ‘funny’ because I had been talking so politely to the cat, and kept talking to me animatedly. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of her at first.

We walked by the Crown center, and she showed me the new ‘Sailor V’ video game, and the karaoke machines which have even managed to get the latest Aino Minako release already. I was afraid I would be late to Cram School, and that she was just wanting test scores, but she seems genuine even though I was probably being more than a little stand-offish. *shakes head* that was silly of me, I really would like to find some people who I can be friends with, because I’m me, not because I’m smart, or I study so much, and they just want me to help me with their homework, but I’m afraid to let myself hope.

She did give me a copy of Aino Minako’s new album (which is really good! I’m listening to it right now) and normally people who just want to use me don’t bother with things such as that. I should stop thinking about it and analyzing every little thing about the situation and go to bed.

We got the tests done, for now. In a few days the results will be posted.
My cram school teacher was asking me how well things went. I told her ‘okay’. I was prepared well, for which I thanked her, but there’s always the chance that you choke and don’t realize it.
Mama-san always tells me that the worse she found out she did, always when she thought she’d done great.
Things seem okay.
I’ll just have to wait for the results, and hope that people aren’t going to hover around me asking to be friends again. Last time that happened they really just thought I would do all their homework for them. I keep hoping but at times it seems futile, as if no one is going to see me as anything but a brain to be used and tossed aside either when they find someone else or…
I’m going to stop there. I think I have some thing I need to read over.

Everyone in school is talking about the upcoming test results.
At lunch time I went to my nice spot on the roof where I can eat and read over things and not get distracted so easily. I’ve caught myself staring off into space a few times which isn’t good.
I guess I’m envious of the groups of people.
I see them especially during lunch time, laughing and chattering, sharing each others lunches…but I can never go up to them, because I hear what they all think of me. I guess it’s my own fault really, but it seems like every time I trust to people to open up and be friendly they are just faking.