It’s toe to toe on that. There are some of us who want to keep picking and scabs and others who want to just move on. What happened happened and no amount of picking is going to change that and there’s a good chance that it will make it hurt more.
I’m trying to find an analogy but I’m having a hard time. I was trying to think of something tied in with not taking prenatal vitamins or what, but really picking at scabs is the only way I can properly analogize it; because really it causes scars and things which have happened to me have caused scars, but they’re different and really re-opening old wounds…and all the rest of it. I really think it’s better for us to focus on the living from day to day. We have enough trials and tribulations with that. I may be preaching to the choir on that score but it’s the thing that keeps coming back in my head; and these things resonate for a reason.
You see we’ve been having a bit of an internal rearrange again which I find interesting as this one was not designed or planned as my integration was. Though I’m not sure if this is an integration or just an evolution. You see when we first went to college we had an alter who at the time we thought was a facet or a channel but realize now was an alter. He was Myeda, a shaman, and Jay or Jared seems to have evolved from him. Now with this we’re not sure exactly how it’s happening, if he’s evolving from one alter specifically or if two are merging; but we’ll see. The fact of the matter is that he’s definitely got a more upbeat and positive way of dealing with certain things, and actually dealing with them. He may be a clown but he still wants to process things as they come up and at the same time enjoy himself. So, we’ll see what happens.
