I know that things are a little weird for you right now; boxes are everywhere and Mum and Dad are running around on a knife edge trying to get everything ready. I would appreciate though if you would stop trying to unpack everything that I’m trying to pack.

You’re going to love the new apartment. It has two whole extra rooms for you to play in, and a playground outside. All the ‘no no’ stuff will be in a seperate room where you can’t get to it so no fewer of those gates that you hate so much. We’ll be able to go around to the playpark and you’ll have a lot of fun meeting the other children that live there.

I would also appreciate it if you didn’t tip out and play in any more food substances. It’s like you’re trying your hardest to make sure we lose our deposit in these last few days.