Insanity and Sleep

Posted by Ami-chan on June 12, 2007

I’m feeling drained the past few days. In one of those ’stop the world I want to get off’ modes this morning, for the most part. Right now, things aren’t so bad, but I’m a bit put out my husband is on days the next two shifts, which is going to be really weird. It’s not a permanent switchover which makes it all the more nasty as the next two days he has to switch from going to bed between 6-7 a.m. to getting up at 3 a.m. and going to bed at 8 p.m. when normally he’s just waking up any time between noon and 2 p.m. This sort of thing throws the whole household into chaos and I can imagine the munchkin being an unholy terror for the next two days. The only good thing about it is that the munchkin will not be awake while my husband is trying to sleep; but he will be asleep already when I go to bed, and that’s just not natural to me, which is probably weird to some people, but I’m just really not used to going to bed when there’s someone already in there any more. I actually sleep better without him there when I go to bed; and I hadn’t realized how unadjusted I was to that until he switched back to nights before Yuletide and I wasn’t having as many problems sleeping as I had.

I have a routine…and I know there are tons of people, because I see it on the Mom’s forum I’m on, who really don’t deal well sleeping by themselves; but I do. It’s probably the chronic insomnia talking…but I like my bed to myself. I love having my husband there, to snuggle and cuddle and all the other romantic things, but I like to sleep too! I know I’m probably not a picnic to sleep with either, my health condition means that I have a really hard time getting comfortable. I fidget. I sniffle. My legs and arms twitch violently at times; there are times I’m so sore I about have seizures. I’m told that I snore (not that that one bothers me any!) and add to the mix that I talk in my sleep too, and well, it’s a miracle anyone gets any sleep in our house ever, really.

I’m just really not looking forward to going to bed tonight. It’s like if we actually go away on holiday…I usually wind up lying awake staring at the ceiling until 4 a.m. and finally dropping off to sleep just as the world wakes up and disturbs me once more. I get so paranoid being in ‘foreign’ places, whether they’re right down the street or on the other side of the world. I have issues. I get that; but there’s just not much can be done about it. I’m always on high alert at night and that’s just so much worse now that I have a munchkin.

I’ll survive some how, because I have to. I’m in a much better place than others and I have to remember that. It’s the whiny, creature comforts talking. Ordinarily this shift hubbie’s switchin gfor is covered by only one officer because the department is short-handed, usually it’s two per shift, but when the only officer on this rotation has to go do training someone has to cover it, and hubbie is the only night shift officer on this grouping that doesn’t have other classes he’s doing during the day as he finished his a couple of weeks ago, so he gets to do it.

I just have to do my bit of pouting about my routine being thrown off…and keep my fingers crossed that given the new meds I’m on are so potent I will actually fall asleep despite the mental protests.